Rise Leaders Radio
#37 Intimacy, Self-Orientation & Fear | A Deep Dive Into Trust

#37 Intimacy, Self-Orientation & Fear | A Deep Dive Into Trust

April 6, 2021

"If we insist on being buttoned up, polished professionals, that gets us a certain distance in our business lives. But showing up as a human being and being willing to relate to our clients and our colleagues as human beings, not just as professionals, gets us 10 times further.” - Andrea Howe

Strong connections build trust
Andrea Howe kicks conventional business to the curb and transforms how people work together. Augmenting our talk with Charlie Green in episode 36, Andrea helps us take a deep dive into the foundations of trust for us to accomplish this.
 
Building trust can feel risky. It requires shedding protective mechanisms to reveal vulnerability and, as a result, make human connections. In the workplace this often spurs fear. After all, it can be a tough balancing act to appear competent and set professional boundaries while also taking opportunities to let our guard down and reveal ourselves. Fear also inhibits true connection because it magnifies self-orientation. We can’t truly be there for others if we allow our own fear to take hold and guide our interactions.  

As you’ll discover, these 3 elements are interwoven, but when they’re examined, you can see how an awareness of them helps a novel way of working and thriving unfold.

Face fear
[14:37] “Human beings, professionals, struggle with fear…[sometimes] it’s a subtle, insidious force that has us suddenly doing or saying things that maybe aren't the optimal from a trust-building standpoint. But it's pervasive, and I think it's critical for us to attend to…we’ve got to shine some light on it, normalize it, practice ways to manage it and mitigate it, and therefore be able to show up not only more powerfully in a more grounded and centered way, but also more courageously.”
[28:01] “So think about it, when we're in a fear-based place, even if it's subtle, the ability to really tune in to another human being is compromised.”

Intimacy builds a safe haven
[31:16] “In looking at the data we've collected over more than a decade now, those with the highest intimacy scores tend to also have the highest trustworthiness scores…
“If there isn't safety in a relationship…if you're my client, what's the likelihood that you're going to disclose to me or even be willing to explore with me the real issues? What really needs to be attended to? What you're really concerned about are what your fears are.”

Generosity: The antidote to fear
[39:51] “Be willing to give stuff away. Give away ideas. Give things away. And that doesn't mean not valuing your services [or] charging appropriately for your services. But one of the best ways for people to have an experience of who you are is to get a little taste of it. So why not be willing to invest, give them a little demo…a way of getting to know you, who you are, and what you're capable of.”

Resources:
Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrea-howe-she-her-22a105/
Trusted Advisor Associates: https://trustedadvisor.com/
The Get Real Project: https://thegetrealproject.com/
(Upcoming Webinar): https://trustedadvisor.com/webinars
The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: https://trustedadvisor.com/books/the-trusted-advisor-fieldbook

Episode 36: A Way of Being for Sustainable Sales Success:  Focus on Trust, Courage, Intimacy: https://rise-leaders.com/podcast/?ppplayer=2166354b3000fc311ad1272907939efb&ppepisode=abad7dfecb82a6462b25f83e0101fc4d
Trust Equation Guide: https://rise-leaders.com/trust-equation-guide-2/ 

 

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To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit:
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#16. High Fidelity Conversations: Nine elements to launch culture change

#16. High Fidelity Conversations: Nine elements to launch culture change

August 18, 2020

These types of conversations are High Fidelity because they provide strength and resonance for the people who engage in them.  They’re designed to support the Core Ideology of the organization and especially support the people experiencing the change. LeeAnn describes nine elements important for launching these conversations.

 

“Waiting until you have created the perfect, most elegant solution keeps you out of today’s game. Launch it!” 

High Fidelity Conversations Support Culture Change

Organizations are constantly changing due to both internal and external events.

Mergers and acquisitions, disruptive technology, and various economic pressures, like those brought on by the Covid pandemic are prime examples. This year, in addition to facing a pandemic, the US had to deal with hard truths on racial injustice, and the need to address the topic in the workplace was no longer avoidable.

On a previous Podcast episode, How to Talk About Race at Work, Drew Clancy and Lori Bishop shared how they tackled the topic head-on at PCI.  They explained why they didn’t wait for the perfect long-term solution to address concerns about race and how they tied the conversations to their values and focus on increasing trust throughout the organization.

Whether your goal is to step fully into conversations about race, or to committing to the successful adaptation of a critical change to your culture, it’s important to provide strength, alignment, and resonance, – or fidelity – for the people who engage in them.

Do you know how to provide the proper framework for these delicate conversations?

This entire episode has been created to guide leaders on how to begin culture change in their organization by following these nine actionable concepts for designing high fidelity conversations.

A Few Elements from the Guide Described in the Episode

05:52 - "Create a vision that everyone can see themselves in. And what that means is, create a compelling future that matters for people. People need to see how the change is going to benefit them and the organization long term." 

07:26 - "And with conversations, that means listening and learning and being open to other points of view."

10:36 - "Waiting will keep you out of the game today. And you want to balance this immediate action with the longer-term creation of policies and structures that provide resistance-free solutions."

11:43 - "Naming the effort gives people language for how to refer to the change".

For more resources highlighted in this audio episode please follow the links below:

Episode 15: How to Talk About Race at Work
https://rise-leaders.com/how-to-talk-about-race-at-work/

Launching Culture Change through Hi-Fidelity Conversations guide:

https://rise-leaders.com/hi-fi-conversations-icons/

To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design and workshop facilitation please visit:
https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/

 

To subscribe to the Rise Leaders newsletter for more resources: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe

#01. Jennifer Touchet’s Visionary Leadership and Creating A Win-Win-Win

#01. Jennifer Touchet’s Visionary Leadership and Creating A Win-Win-Win

June 26, 2019

Season 1 of Rise Leaders Radio is focused on a unique type of entrepreneurial leadership that happens in Oak Cliff (Dallas, TX) at the community, business and civic levels. Jennifer Touchet kicks off the storytelling by sharing how Twelve Hills Nature Center was envisioned, fought for and created by the community. It’s a story of win-win-win with a variety of stakeholders, shared vision, positive politics and power.

 

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.

– Margaret Mead

 

I begin Season 1 by interviewing Jennifer Touchet.  She played a pivotal role in saving a parcel of land that was slated for re-development at the end of the street where I now live. I was not expecting to learn such deep and transferable lessons from her. I knew by reading the donor names and invocation inscribed in a rock at the entrance of Twelve Hills Nature Center that a significant effort had been undertaken and that someone(s) had been in charge. Jennifer shares wisdom that is useful for anyone, anywhere, leading change.

EASTER EGG ALERT!  Stay tuned to the end of this episode to hear my visit to Seedschool, a small school that convenes weekly at Twelve Hills in a converted bus named Matilda. The owner, Jennifer Stuart, is another Oak Cliff Hero.  You’ll be delighted by sounds of children learning!

Takeaways from our conversation:

  • Use a communication style that invites other perspectives. 
  • Acknowledge that there are multiple stakeholders.  Understand where the power and influence are and who has it through Power Mapping when you’re leading change. 
  • Start with a shared vision and let it evolve. 
  • Use inclusive strategies to widen the circle and increase engagement.
  • Adopt a ‘win≠ winner take all’ core belief. 
  • Consider that there are no permanent enemies and no permanent allies.
  • Commit for the long term. 

Links:

Power-mapping:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_mapping

Follow Twelve Hills Nature Center:

https://twelvehills.org/

Follow Seedschool:

http://www.seedpreschool.org/

Connect to Jennifer:

https://bit.ly/2M92Q7E

 

To subscribe to the Rise Leaders newsletter for more resources: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe

To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit: https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/

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